I had a sales call at the end of my day today as I was looking for partnerships to grow my French teaching business.

I hung up the call and felt so bad. I took a walk on the cliffs and when I came back, while preparing my salad, I had a moment and I wondered:

“Is that all there is?”

I’m 42 and the least I can say is that meeting men in my life hasn’t been short of disappointments. I should actually correct what I just said: you don’t meet men.

You meet their expectations, you meet what they target you for, you meet their systems – more or less effective – they have put in place to enter in contact with the world, but where do you really meet men these days that feel like they are an actual person?

While I enjoyed our initial connection on Instagram and a whole conversation back and forth through messages and voice notes that felt empowering, the call we had to see if we could work together made me feel so uncomfortable and I wondered how on earth this could have failed so badly.

First, I entered the call while he had already showed me that he didn’t care at all about my business. Because I had had a bad experience with a team from the country where he comes and I asked him for a contact for legal advice.

As a good British citizen, he answered politely that he would think about it for me, but of course, this was never connected to any action he intended to take. He just “says it” but he never “means it”, how classic and upsetting.

I am a person with only one word. When I say something, I always do it and I fiercely stand by this principle because this how you build your sense of integrity and dignity.

On our call, 5 days after this first promise was made, he didn’t even mention the matter, not even a fake apology to keep pretending he cared so I could nod and pretend I believed him. In my mind it went like: “So given that you’ve already showed me that you don’t care about my struggles, why would I trust you and even more, why would you deserve receiving any money from me while I have no guarantee of the results you’re going to deliver? You’ve already broken the first promise you made, so what’s next?

Then, he did that so utterly typical male thing: asking you brutally to move on and leave something in the past, instead of supporting you so he actually helps the same process to happen. This is so typical. He mentioned that some stories were in the past while they happened last week so he’s making that decision for me, which shows that he completely ignores the basics of how emotions work in real life.

The more you support people, show empathy and welcome all types of emotions they are experiencing, the more the person feels seen and moves forward naturally. Oops, have I just shared a million dollar tip that could have avoided millions of men to ruin their couples and family life?

Then the guy literally puts me on his back to back questions following a bad sales script we all know about, you know the one where you push clients in all the uncomfortable corners because you think it will make them make a decision faster.

Well, does that work on you? Honestly?
On which type of person does this work?
Truly let me know, I’m genuinely curious about the matter.

All that it does to me is that it makes me feel so uncomfortable that if I initially wanted to buy from you, this has very little chance to happen from now on.

They also need to understand that people who have deep levels of awareness actually SEE YOU when you apply your script on their face and it feels like an attack to their soul and intelligence. This could also be classified as a spiritual insult.

Tonight, I also felt like the world was failing me so hard because of how business is done today. No emotions, no deep connection, no joy, no friendship, nothing. Just you, your system and your money obsession. How much more do you need? Pig.

I have no doubt that you have more money than I do, but do you have more joy? More fulfillment? More connections where you wish the conversations would never end?

I’ve recently tried to work with others again. Having been with myself and animals for most of my time those last years, I am trying to reconnect to that weird beast called human, and nothing feels more surprising to me. What they do, how they think and I still have no clue what they eat during winter. I just feel like I’m from another world.

And I already hear you when you may say: « she’s autistic » as I can see that being a good person and living through your heart has become a pathology these days, while it’s just how a normal human being is supposed to live in the first place.

After experiencing the loyalty of a tree and the love of a dog, connecting with what’s supposed to be the species I should be forming couples and families with feels like being handed a cup of apple cider vinegar, with nothing else added to it.

So this where I am standing now. With no pleasure at all meeting people anymore because all they have to offer is a system and a fake conversation they have rehearsed with AI. Sad. Next time, I’ll record them.

What I want is people I want to sit with, have sangria with, watch sunset and go where no one went before. And about the business life, I want to reinvent it. I want to use the tools but instead of using them for selfish greed purposes, I want to make them work for Joy, Love and Deep Connections. Everything else, I leave it. I don’t know how to do.

Now I have to go because I have an email to read. I have just received an automatic email from that sales call person that is automatically telling me what a pleasure it was to meet me, while our entire call was a display of misalignment.

So I’ll just go and delete it.

With Love & Adventures,

Emi