That’s such a tough place to be in, and I completely get why you’d want to find a way out of it. When your mind knows the love is misplaced, but your heart still holds on, it creates this internal war that can be exhausting.

Here are a few ways to work through it:

Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment

Telling yourself “I shouldn’t feel this way” often makes the feelings more persistent. Instead, try acknowledging them: “I have these feelings, and they make sense given my experiences and emotions. But they do not define me, nor do they control my actions.”

Understand the Deeper Why

Ask yourself: Why am I drawn to this person? Is it a pattern? Does this person reflect something familiar from your past? Sometimes, misplaced love is connected to wounds we haven’t fully healed. Understanding the root of your attachment can help you break free from it. They may have a key related to your story that you haven’t understood yet and that’s important. It may be what you’re chasing.

Limit Contact & Romanticization

If possible, create distance. Emotional or physical space can help your heart catch up to what your mind already knows. Also, be mindful of romanticizing the situation—remind yourself of the reality, not just the idealized version of the person.

Shift Your Focus to Self-Love & Growth

Redirecting energy toward yourself is powerful. Whether it’s diving into passions, strengthening friendships, or focusing on your personal growth, the more you invest in yourself, the less space the misplaced love will occupy.

Rewrite the Narrative

Instead of seeing it as “I’m stuck loving the wrong person,” reframe it as “I am learning something valuable about myself and my desires in love. This is temporary, and I will grow from it.”

Let Yourself Grieve & Feel the Discomfort

Letting go isn’t instant. There will be moments of longing, sadness, or even frustration. Accept them as part of the process rather than resisting them.

Remind Yourself of Your Worth

If this love is misplaced, there’s a reason. Either this person can’t meet your needs, isn’t fully available, or isn’t aligned with your highest good. Instead of focusing on what you feel for them, ask yourself: Does this person reflect the love I truly deserve?