Are you sure you’re loyal to the right things, cities, countries, people, partners?

When I found out I was stuck in a life I didn’t really enjoy anymore, I realized I needed to have a look at my loyalties.

Who/what are you loyal to?

When you find yourself in a disconnected life, where you have the form of a life you could have wanted but you don’t feel that happy inside of what you’ve built, most of the time, it means you have been loyal to the wrong things.

Sometimes it can be:

The wrong Country/Culture

You need to analyze a bit further the culture you live in. Do you have the same values?

For example, if your value number 1 is freedom and you live in a country that value the system and the administrative processes first, you’re going to find yourself in a lot of disappointing situations.

If you love being independent and you value more the development of your own personality and you live in a country where the value number one is family with people who sacrifice everything for that, you’re going to be in trouble too.

Those are just example, tell me in the comment section if you have some other ideas.

The wrong People

When you come from a family where you haven’t been supported, you’re going to have some work to do on yourself because you will tend to pair up with people who won’t love you and support you because it is familiar to you, that’s why even if it doesn’t bring happiness to you, you will choose it because it will feel comfortable.

You will stay around people who let you live, be your half broken self, but who don’t engage deeply with you because this is what you know about love. But you may find out at some point that there’s something missing.

So you will have to have a deep and clear look at who you’re being loyal to in this life.

If you keep being loyal to people who don’t uplift you, you will remain stuck in a mediocre life.

If you start being loyal to people who see you and really want to engage with you to bring you value, your life will change.

Go find the people you like. Those you find attractive and interesting. Our relationships are what make us the happiest in our lifetime so it should always be a priority.

And if you need to distance yourself from some societal conditionings, do it.

Yes it looks ugly to distance ourselves from our family members or from the partners we’ve had for years but sometimes it’s the only way we can reach the other side of the bridge and meet a happier version of ourselves.

The wrong Jobs

You must have a deep look at the way you have decided to work.

Some of us are not made to be employees and will always be frustrated in this type of framework.

Being an independent worker is also not made for everyone, but there is one way or the other that feels better for each one of us.

When we are very sensitive to our relationships, independent work can be much better because we will have more power over the time we spend – or not – with people. At least we are able to choose.

Old Patterns

You also need to understand that some of the things we are loyal to are unconscious, let me give you an example.

The most common story in entrepreneurship is about entrepreneurs who fail at their business, sometimes several times. They reach some kind of success and then every time, they sabotage it.

For those people, if you have a look at their past, you will often find out that their fathers had started one or several businesses and then always failed at it or ended up closing it down.

This is not random. There is no random in this life.

This comes from a deep loyalty: my father failed so I cannot succeed because it will make me look better than him and I can’t do that to him. If we haven’t learnt how to detach from what our parents have accomplished or not and what we allow ourselves to attain, we can be unconsciously tied to fail in our business or also in our romantic life.

If your parents haven’t succeeded in their love lives, you may have to have a look at your loyalties towards them: do you really allow yourself to find happiness in love? Do you feel free to break the cycle? Can you find love even if you’ve never seen anyone experience it in your family? You may consciously answer yes to that question, but you’d better ask your subconscious mind because it’s not that easy and most of the time our unconscious mind is extremely loyal to our family and its old patterns. Because it’s deeply connected to how we have built our identity.

As children and kind hearted people, we have found a lot of love and validation through the loyalties we have agreed to keep. I personally have found myself being loyal for years to a place that didn’t align with what I really liked and expected from life. But it was home, it was my roots, and at some point, my attachment to this land was so strong, I could not consider living anywhere else.

But at some point, those roots were also keeping me stuck in a place where all my personality was being shut down and not appreciated. So I did some deep work to unlock that and regain some flexibility and this has turned my whole life around for the better.

With Love & Care,

Emi

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