This is one of the truths that is still way too silenced.

It’s uncomfortable to think of the consequences of remaining in a comfortable couple where there is no true love but some comfortable arrangements.

The most common excuse

I stay for the children. I have decided to have them so now I have to sacrifice myself for them.

But first, a sacrifice would mean something if the person you sacrifice for would ask for that. Given that a kid would never ask that to a parent, a kid being willing to see their parents happy more than anything on the planet, sacrificing yourself for your children is AN EXCUSE, a really bad one.

Just like having children to avoid having to think of yourself and about what you want to do with your life and live it for yourself first.

This is AN ESCAPISM to avoid dealing with the reality of who you are and undertake what needs to be done to create a happy life for yourself.

Nothing is easier than hiding yourself behind children, they can be so demanding and the more demanding you make them be, the more you can hide behind them, how comfortable is that..?

Why staying for children is wrong

Because they will have deep issues all their life long because of your choice.

First they will experience the lack of energy of the home and this overall low energetic vibration will be imprinted in them for a long time and will make them vibrate low.

Then, what will happen to them is that their chemical reactions creating love inside of them will only happen when they will experience the same type of things as what was going on in the home you’ve built for them.

Meaning that if in your home, there is: “a lack of interest between the parents, some avoidance, some lies, some cheating, some emotional disconnection, some lack of intimacy, lack of joy and laughter, etc”, then your children, later in life, will only feel love when they will feel that around other individuals.

Not leaving for a happier relationship is a lifelong condemnation

I could not make things clearer. Being a daughter of this type of couple, I can only talk about how difficult and even impossible it has been for me and my sister to find true love and develop a beautiful love life.

Here we have two different reactions to the same problem: the first one is the elder who has accepted the scheme, and reproduced it, thinking there’s nothing else available for her out there and developing the coping skills to deal with the abusive partner.

The second type of reaction is to go heavily into personal development and healing practices to snipe those patterns and hope to experience something else in this life. At 41, I’m still on this path and still suffering from only falling in love with men who will hurt me, neglect me, mistreat me, even after the most promising beginnings.

It is what it is. It is the destiny, if you’re staying in a parenting couple with no true love at all, that you are building for your children and I’m not even sure, til this day, no matter how hard I’ve worked on this, if I will be able, some day, to experience a loving relationship where I don’t get deeply hurt, patronized, rejected, etc.

The future will tell but here my job is to warn all the parents on Earth about what they are doing when they think they are DOING THE RIGHT THING.

Because you may be doing exactly what will ruin the life of your children and you won’t be able to hide to yourself that it comes from you and your lack of courage to face the truth of your situation and just call what is by its name.

A couple trying to be together and failing at it is a human experience we all have and it’s okay. But a couple, knowing they have nothing to do together anymore, and pretending, they are parent who actively and consciously destroy their children’s present and future so this is worth shouting a bit.

Sorry and not sorry if this message sounds too sharp to you but at some point, the truth is the truth and you can’t play with life, unless several people experience severe consequences over several lifetimes so think twice about that comfort you absolutely want to keep.

Be a good rebel,

Rebel yourself against lies

And Root for Love

Emi