Some of us have been in survival mode for a very long time, sometimes since our birth, and some even in the womb when the pregnancy was not desired.

Being in survival mode urges us to be constantly vigilant, learn to provide for all our needs on our own, be wary of strangers, strive for perfection in everything, work hard, do everything at once, disregard our limits, rarely rest, sleep little, prioritize others over ourselves, push ourselves beyond our limits to stay in performance mode, and even reach burnout without regard for our needs or our health.

In survival mode, we continually feed our inner tyrant, the one that never allows us to be “just” ourselves, always forcing us to do more, to make ourselves loved at all costs, to say yes to others and no to ourselves tirelessly. And our inner tyrant, in turn, feeds our false need to be in survival mode. In survival mode, we do many things to make ourselves loved, even developing all sorts of strategies, few of which are truly healthy for us. In fact, few of them really work, but our inner tyrant does not give us the time to realize that they are just efforts in vain.

The worst part is that we do not realize that we are operating in survival mode, always in fear of something, and this has been our everyday state for so long that we mistakenly believe it to be our “normal” state. We have forgotten, sometimes even suppressed, that this survival mode may have been useful to us long ago but is no longer necessary now.

Sometimes, we have to make ourselves sick to realize that all these demands we impose on ourselves come only from within, even if sometimes we feel they come from others. But since we are responsible for all our relationships, we are also responsible for whether or not we obey the dictates of others and society. It’s our choice.

Sometimes, a luminous awareness, brought about by a discussion, an event, a loving relationship, blesses us with the gift of finally seeing all our defense mechanisms, survival tactics, tyranny, and all the violence we inflict on ourselves for years. And once we have seen this way to treat ourselves, we cannot unsee it.

A change in consciousness, energy level, belief, and clarity then occurs, allowing us to dare to step out of survival mode and finally start living! Living, simply, in gentleness, self-love, self-compassion, and conscious choices that honor the luminous soul that we are. If you feel like you’ve been in survival mode for a long time, I wish you the grace to lift this veil and finally see life not as a perpetual battle but as an inner peace that is now inalienable.

You can do it, we can all do it.

Let’s send our inner tyrant into retirement!

Diane Gagnon Author, Coach, Speaker