What is essential to understand about authenticity so that it doesn’t hold you back or literally ruin your life and career development is that it is a precious gift and not everyone deserves it.

Often highly sensitive people are so driven by their need and desire for authenticity, by the voice of their heart, that they totally forget to think a little about their interests and how they can interact in a given context.

Giving authenticity everywhere you go is like giving away your most precious and intimate possession to anyone. It’s just not appropriate.

Authenticity must be mastered and distributed according to the level of trust and receptivity of the environment. Why? Because authenticity expressed in the wrong place and to the wrong people often has a detrimental effect, so instead of being a gift, it becomes a poison that works against you.

When authenticity rhymes with self-sabotage

Being honest and authentic should not be confused with saying anything anywhere, at the risk of ruining a number of experiences.

You can say anything but not everywhere and not with anyone. Or else you have to assume the consequences and often, in the life of an adult, they can be costly.

After many experiences of open-hearted sharing or expressed revolts that lead nowhere, we understand that our messages and the changes we want to see in the world will only happen when we are able to express them with love, in the right place, at the right time and with the right people.

While anger is an important emotion and a key driver of change, we cannot build our lives on it. Anger is an emotion that moves from point A to point B to regain balance. But once the change is made, the anger dissipates and gives way to the positive emotions found thanks to the change made.

Authenticity is often associated with inappropriate unpacking, but this should not be confused. How would you like to live in a world where someone who thinks someone smells bad or is ugly openly tells them so as soon as they see them? How would you like to live in a world where everyone says everything, any way and in any context?

Would you like to be in the shoes of the person who receives your unpleasant remarks about him or her or about his or her life? How would we fare in society if everyone said everything they thought?

You benefit every day from the restraint that people have towards you to maintain your integrity and not constantly feel attacked or belittled personally.

Be intentional in your communication

Communication is the art of choosing, with intention, what you deliver where and to whom, how and why. Being well aware that each word has an impact on the world and on ourselves.

Intelligent communication takes into account the sensitivity of the other person and the impact that our words will have on them.

So we can use committed words to move the lines, but we must be sure that the impact will be productive and positive, that they are ready to hear them and that they have, in one way or another, given their consent to open up this discussion space.

Words are the building blocks that build something every day or destroy something when we allow ourselves to be complacent. Words are precious and must be used with tact and respect for the other’s sensitivity.

Behind an excess of authenticity, the search for unconditional love

Unconditional love is to be sought and created within oneself and with oneself above all. It is not something that can be asked or imposed on others.

When authenticity is brought into spaces that are not appropriate, it is a sign of a search for unconditional love that has not been found within and with oneself. This way of believing that one can claim the right to say anything and anywhere is the expression of a frustration of the inner child who did not feel loved and recognized, accepted who he was. This lack must be filled with him, but not with the outside world.

We can enter into compassion towards this type of attitude by understanding that the person has not received this unconditional love which is necessary for any construction. The love or affection, if there really was any in the initial environment, was conditional: if you didn’t disturb, if you didn’t make noise, if you didn’t upset the established order, if you didn’t ask too many questions, if you didn’t have too many problems… etc.

The person has not felt recognized and allowed to be themselves in a safe space that allows them to express themselves, so they will then be derailed by seeking this recognition in places and with people who are not there for it.

A long topic to ponder… Feel free to share your experiences on this subject in the comments.